Americans Are Really Dumb

In America, you can be completely mediocre, have mediocre intelligence, mediocre values, a mediocre job and drive a vehicle that costs 60k or more. It happens all the time. Almost any day of the week, you can get in your own car and go out on any road in America and see a really mediocre person cruising around in a vehicle that costs 60k or more. Not a doctor, or a dentist, or a corporate attorney, or an engineer, or a banker, or a tenured professor. Just a Joe Schmo cruising around in a new Escalade, Beemer, Mercedes or other self-esteem booster. And you see this driver and think to yourself, this dude definitely doesn’t know that Belgium is in the EU. Come on, let’s not bullshit. You can tell instinctively if you’re even a little bit observant and have lived on this planet for a while. The dude might not even know what the EU is, but the monthly payment on his new fully loaded Chevy Silverado is 900 bucks. This is America, the country that supposedly elected a president because eggs were too expensive. The average monthly payment for a new car loan in the U.S. is $745, but in the last election, $12 for a dozen eggs was too much. People had had enough of the nonsense. The government had gone too far. We needed change. We needed someone (like a billionaire who has never shopped for eggs in his life) to save us from the price of eggs.

Is it elitist to expect people to graduate from high school and drive cars that are within their budgets – maybe a used Civic or Corolla – with a $200-$300/month payment? Yes, it is, and I don’t care. I fully expect people not to be dumb as shit. There is very little excuse anymore, short of a medical issue, for being dumb as shit. We live in the Information Age. People walk around with computers in their pockets, and yet, they don’t know that they shouldn’t be driving a new Mercedes if they work in customer service at Staples.

But perhaps it’s elitism that’s the problem, right? We elected a president because Americans were tired of Democrats being elitist assholes with their fancy college degrees from elitist institutions and their $8 coffees and their craft beers and their electric vehicles, but, you know, it seems to me to be a better national plan to err on the side of being educated, elitist snobs rather than uneducated dumbshits who have never heard of the EU and think a 70k pickup truck is an essential purchase for doing the groceries at the Aldi market. I’m not saying everyone needs to go to Harvard, but fuck, do we really need to try to destroy Harvard that hard? Yes, there are some douches at Harvard, but there are also some people there working on cures for cancer and what to do with the 8 million tons of plastic that enter the ocean each year. If those guys want to cruise around in 100k Teslas, sipping $10 lattes, then fine! They’re helping us out! Jesus Christ! The idiot who never bothered to get his GED and is underwater with his car payment is not doing a whole lot for us as a nation. Elitism works, for fuck sake! Our society functions better as a whole when smart assholes are in charge rather than dumb assholes. The dumb assholes who elected a dumb asshole really need to get their heads out of their assholes and just realize that they’re dumb assholes. Not everyone can go to Harvard and become an astrophysicist. Oh well, boo-hoo! Just like, not everyone can play in the NBA or play guitar like Matteo Mancuso. I know, it sucks. Life’s not fair, or as one of my elitist French teachers use to say, “La vie n’est pas juste.”